Letting Go

 Hi, my name is Tricia, and I have a problem with letting go. I just feel better when I hold on to things. Anything really. Vintage things, fabric things, furniture things, artsy things, food things, junk things. Oh, and people things too. I like to hold onto those more tightly than all the above. 

Letting go just isn't my thing. If you've ever seen my basement, no further explanation is needed. I'm more of a holder on-er myself. All of this was true, until now, that is!

Life has a way of changing who you thought you'd always be. It often takes you on to the next level, whether you're ready, or in my case, not. 

On Monday, our local DMV approved this baby to get her driver's license. Not just any baby mind you, but our firstborn, brown-eyed, introduced us to Barney the purple dinosaur, baby girl! 

  You can imagine my horror when they said she was ready to drive without her mama in the car! I held up the line asking the officer if she was absolutely sure. It was the same feeling I'd had when she was born, and we were released to take her home. How could they know everything would be fine? "Yes M'am", the female officer in DMV blue said. "Just be sure she looks over her shoulder while backing so she gets the whole view. Next!"


That's it? That's all? That's what I have to reassure me that she'll be fine and it's okay to let go? We left, only because there were others waiting, but Mama's heart was broken. I guess I thought we'd go in, she'd take the road test and fail, and we could console her with ice cream and put all of this on the back burner until much, much later. 



 When I looked back at Payton, I didn't see a tiny, vulnerable baby though. Instead, I was reminded that she's now a beautiful, Godly, confident, sixteen year-old, who'd just accomplished a major milestone. And I needed to let go and celebrate.

She's since driven to and from work by herself and did a great job. My tear ducts have been overstimulated and my prayer life has increased greatly because of it. 

Talk about a step of faith.This is hard stuff, this letting go, but it's much easier knowing the One who's had her in the shelter of His wings all along. After all, she was His, before she was ever ours.

That applies to everything I find myself turning all white-knuckled about and trying to keep a tight grasp on. I can now say that I've taken the first of at least a million steps in my "Letting Go Recovery Intervention", or LGRI for short. 

You never know, I just might turn loose of some of my treasures junk if I'm not careful.

 Baby steps though. Baby steps.

Letting go and letting God,
Tricia